Don’t let deployment stand in the way of healthy relationships.
Deployments can be challenging for both Service members and their loved ones. Trying to navigate the separation, manage new responsibilities, and maintain strong communication can feel overwhelming. It may not be easy, but it is possible to keep your relationships strong and your family connected during deployment.
Don’t let deployment stand in the way of healthy relationships. Check out these tips and resources for keeping your family strong.
Tips for Staying Connected
Everyone’s deployment experience is unique. Your family’s dynamics, as well as the location, mission requirements, and duration of the deployment, will all play a role in how best to navigate the challenges. However, there are some steps all families can take to build communication and strengthen relationships.
- Prepare and plan. The more you discuss before you’re separated, the better. Figure out how you’ll handle finances, emergencies, child care, and, of course, communication. What are your expectations of each other? What types of communication will work best? How often will you try to communicate? What roadblocks may come up?
- Appreciate each other. Leading up to and during the deployment, find ways to express your appreciation for each other. Try to remember that everyone is doing their best, and it’s important not to be too critical. This goes for your children, your partner, and yourself. Deployments require sacrifice from each member of the family.
- Be flexible. It’s easy to panic if a scheduled communication doesn’t happen, but it’s important to stay flexible and adapt when things change. Don’t be too upset if you miss your call, if the internet connection stops working, or if security measures prevent you from sharing a lot of details. There will be another chance to connect.
- Be open about your needs. What kind of communication will help you get through the deployment? What type of support is most important? Maybe you’ll need encouragement and reassurance, while your partner needs stability and humor. If everyone is open about what they need, you can keep that in the front of your mind when communicating.
- Build a strong support system. Think about friends and family who can help with child care, transportation, or emotional support. Reach out to other military families who understand what you’re going through. You don’t want to feel isolated and frustrated as your responsibilities grow. Use your village to help make this time easier.
- Support your children. Communicate openly about how roles and expectations may change during deployment and explain as much as you can in age-appropriate terms. In addition, listen to your kids and allow them to share their fears and anxieties. As a family, plan out the best ways for them to stay connected, such as videos, games, drawings, and letters.
- Be creative. In addition to email, phone and video calls, letters, and care packages, get creative with your communications. Record videos of the kids or changes in the seasons. Take pictures of kids’ artwork or school assignments. Record voice messages or bedtime stories to share with each other. Play online games together, read the same books, or listen to the same podcasts or songs.
- Take care of yourself. Don’t let stress impact your relationships. It’s important to take nights off, relax with a bath or a show, or do a hobby regularly. When you take care of yourself, you’re better equipped to help your family thrive.
- Spend quality time together before the deployment. Work tends to increase leading up to a deployment, but carve out some meaningful time to strengthen and solidify family bonds.
- Grow and change. Deployment, like other challenging times, can be an opportunity for growth, for you, for your children, and as a couple. You may develop new skills, grow as a person, and become a stronger parent. Celebrate these changes.
- Take advantage of resources. You don’t have to do this alone. There are support groups, counseling, and programs ready to support you and give you the tools you need to thrive. Check out the resources listed below.
Helpful Resources
TRICARE – Your health care plan offers a wide range of benefits to help you stay strong and healthy during deployment, including preventive care, mental health support, and more.
Military and Family Support Centers – If you have questions or need help finding resources, contact your installation’s Military and Family Support Center.
The Military and Family Life Counseling Program – This program provides free, confidential counseling to Service members, their families, and survivors on or near installations. Counselors can help you navigate issues such as improving your relationships, managing stress, adjusting to deployment, and more. In addition, children and youth behavioral military and family life counselors can provide support on a variety of topics affecting young people, including anger, sibling and parental relationships, separation, and more.
Keeping Your Relationship Strong During Deployment – This 30-minute podcast provides tips and resource suggestions from a seasoned military spouse on how to keep your relationship strong during deployment.
Building Healthy Relationships Specialty Consultation – This is a free education-based consultation designed to strengthen your relationships with family, friends, and others. You’ll receive personalized coaching sessions to help you strengthen your communication skills. Consider using this to build better communication before deployment, reconnect after deployment, or help build a stronger bond with your child while your spouse is away.
Military OneSource’s Managing Deployments and Separations MilLife Guide – This guide is full of tips and resources you can use to help keep your relationship strong during deployment.
Sesame Street for Military Families – This is a great tool for military families with young children. Find information, videos, and games to help your children deal with a range of military life challenges, including deployments, homecomings, and much more.
Love Every Day – This is a fun, interactive text-based relationship tool from Military OneSource. For 21 days, you and your partner will receive text messages with activities and questions to help you strengthen your relationship in just a few minutes each day. For example, one text may ask: “What do you remember about meeting your partner?”
Using these tools and resources designed to support you, make your relationships a priority during your next deployment.