It can be hard to know how to help a loved one after a traumatic event, but there are steps you can take and resources you can access to get the support you need.
After a traumatic event, it’s common for people to have stress symptoms, such as feeling afraid, experiencing flashbacks, or having difficulty sleeping. But if symptoms last longer than a month and make it hard to cope with the daily demands of life, it may be post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
When someone you love has PTSD, it can affect your life dramatically. You may worry about your loved one’s well-being or become frustrated by the changes you see. You may wonder if things will return to normal or if there’s anything you can do to help.
It can be hard to know how to help a loved one after a traumatic event, but there are steps you can take and resources you can access to get the support you need.
How Do I Know if My Loved One Has PTSD?
After a traumatic event, like combat, a physical or sexual assault, or a serious accident, it’s common to have many of the symptoms outlined below. Symptoms can vary and may not look the same for everyone, but if you see symptoms that last for a month or longer, your loved one may be suffering from PTSD. Symptoms may include:
- Gets angry easily.
- Is less happy or outgoing.
- Has trouble sleeping.
- Seems on edge all the time and startles easily.
- Relives the trauma, through nightmares or flashbacks.
- Avoids things that remind them of the trauma.
- Appears absent or unable to focus or concentrate.
- Feels numb or lacks interest in things they used to enjoy.
How Can I Support My Loved One With PTSD?
Check out these tips based on information from the National Center for PTSD and the PTSD Alliance:
- Learn more about PTSD. The more you know about PTSD, the better you’ll be able to help your loved one handle its effect. Take time to understand PTSD, its symptoms, how it’s treated, and how to help someone living with it. If you know large crowds trigger your loved one, for example, you may be more understanding when he or she doesn’t want to attend a party or a child’s sporting event.
- Take care of yourself. Living with someone with PTSD can be hard. You may be angry or sad about how much it’s affecting your life together. You may be burnt out from your caregiving responsibilities. Get regular exercise, take time for things you enjoy, get enough rest, and seek counseling or outside support if you need it.
- Offer to attend appointments. You can go to appointments to help take notes, listen, and ask questions. This can be especially helpful if your loved one is having a hard time focusing and paying attention to details.
- Be a good listener. When your loved one is ready to talk, remember that a good listener doesn’t judge, interrupt, or give advice. Avoid phrases like “I know just how you feel” or “Some people have it so much worse.” These comments are often unhelpful and can discourage your loved one from sharing more. Healthy Homefront’s When Someone Shares a Trauma is full of tips and resources on how to be a good listener.
- Encourage contact with others. When people are suffering from PTSD, they often withdraw from others, but a support system can be helpful. Encourage your loved one to make time for family and close friends. If they’re struggling to leave the house, maybe a small get together at a neighbor’s is a good way to start, instead of a large gathering or a crowded restaurant.
- Maintain routines. Predictable routines may be helpful in making your loved one feel more safe and secure as they manage their PTSD symptoms. Try to keep a consistent sleep schedule, plan meals at similar times when possible, and carve out time for exercise or some form of stress reduction each day.
- Engage in stress-reducing activities. Explore healthy ways for your loved one to relieve stress. Consider deep breathing exercises, like these on the Breathe2Relax app, incorporate short yoga or tai chi sessions found on #LiveWholeHealth, try mindfulness exercises on Chill Drills, a mobile app from Military OneSource, or find physical activities to enjoy, such as a nightly walk or a daily HIIT session.
- Pay attention to triggers. A trigger is something that reminds your loved one of the traumatic event and causes symptoms to flare. It may be a large crowd, a loud noise, or an unfamiliar place. Try to learn what the triggers are and help your loved one create ways to combat them. For example, you could suggest noise-canceling headphones for loud spaces or a hand signal that means it’s time to leave a certain place.
- Encourage treatment for your loved one. Start by reminding your loved one that seeking help is a sign of strength and that treatment for PTSD works. With the right treatment, you can eliminate or reduce your symptoms and improve your quality of life. You can suggest websites like AboutFace or Make the Connection with stories from other military members and Veterans who have successfully treated PTSD. You can also offer to help research treatments, set up appointments, or help with other perceived roadblocks to accessing care.
What Resources Are Available to Support Us?
TRICARE covers a variety of mental health services, including treatment for PTSD.
The Department of Veterans Affairs has several resources for Veterans dealing with PTSD, including screening information, several treatment options, and more.
The Wounded Warrior Project offers several resources to support Veterans living with PTSD. Check out their programs, including mental health workshops, weekly calls, PTSD treatments, and more.
PTSD Family Coach is an app that provides support for family members of Veterans with PTSD, including information on PTSD, how to take care of yourself, and how to get your loved one the treatment they deserve.
The National Center for PTSD is full of information and resources for helping a loved one with PTSD, including this guide on PTSD for family and friends.
Your love, patience, and support, along with the help of the resources listed above, can assist with your family’s healing journey.