Everyone’s journey is different. There is no right or wrong way to process what’s happened to you.
If you’ve experienced pregnancy loss, you know how deeply painful it can be. The physical and emotional toll can feel overwhelming.
While each pregnancy loss is unique and everyone is affected differently, many people experience it which makes pregnancy loss an important topic to address. Read on to learn more about pregnancy loss and resources you can access for support.
Understanding Pregnancy Loss
Depending on when your pregnancy loss occurs, it is either considered a miscarriage or a stillbirth. In the U.S. a miscarriage is usually defined as occurring before 20 weeks of pregnancy. A stillbirth is a loss of a pregnancy after 20 weeks.
Important Reminders if You’ve Experienced Pregnancy Loss
- You aren’t alone. As many as 10 to 15% of confirmed pregnancies are lost and it is more common than many people believe. There are support groups and other families who understand how you feel.
- It’s not your fault. Pregnancy loss happens for many reasons, most of which are out of your control. Pregnancy loss can occur due to a genetic abnormality, a problem with the uterus, a maternal health condition, or for a medically unknown reason.
- You can go on to have successful pregnancies. Many women who experience pregnancy loss later have successful pregnancies and healthy newborns.
Everyone’s pregnancy loss journey is different. There is no right or wrong way to process your loss. The Office on Women’s Health offers these coping strategies when going through this difficult time:
- Allow yourself to feel your emotions. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s OK. You may feel detached, numb, angry or depressed. You may feel overwhelmed by grief, guilt or loss. Whatever emotions you feel, they are valid. There is no right or wrong way to process pregnancy loss.
- Turn to loved ones for support. It may be difficult to manage relationships at first but when you’re ready, share your feelings with friends or family and request help if needed. If you’re not ready to share with those who are closest to you, consider finding a pregnancy loss support group to meet people who can relate to what you’re experiencing.
- Take care of yourself. To heal both physically and mentally, make sure you take care of yourself. This includes getting the health care you need, taking time to rest and heal, and fueling your body with nourishing foods.
- Do something to honor your loss. Sometimes doing something special for the baby you’ve lost can help with healing. Plant a tree or flower, write a poem, or have a ceremony to remember your baby. This is a completely personal choice, and you can do whatever feels right.
- Control what you can. Pregnancy loss is often out of your control which can feel scary and strange. Over time if you plan to become pregnant again, it may help to talk to your health care provider about what you can control to give your body the best chance at a healthy pregnancy, including maintaining a healthy weight, keeping chronic health conditions under control, quitting smoking and more.
- Get the support you deserve. Check out the resources below to access the support you deserve during this difficult time.
Resources Ready to Support You
The Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) offers care and support for pregnancy loss. Because everyone’s experience is unique, services are wide-ranging and may include:
- Mental health resources – VA has treatment options tailored to the emotional and mental conditions connected to pregnancy loss. Many people experience post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, anxiety and more. Explore about VA’s mental health support services for both miscarriage and stillbirth.
- Personalized health care for your recovery – Your health care team will create a treatment plan tailored to your unique health care needs. Treatments may include managing physical symptoms such as abdominal pain and bleeding and addressing sexual health concerns. Other recovery strategies may include connecting you to pelvic floor physical therapy, dealing with health conditions that may have developed during pregnancy, scheduling necessary procedures, and more.
- Support services – VA can connect you with chaplain services, infertility support, or support groups for pregnancy loss.
- Maternity care coordinators – Every VA offers maternity care coordinators to help you connect to local community resources, navigate health care services inside and outside of VA, cope with pregnancy loss, and much more.
- Women Veteran Program Managers – Every VA has a Women Veteran Program Manager to help you access care, connect to resources, and provide guidance to services you need.
- Women Veterans Call Center – Call, text or chat online with trained women representatives who can provide information on enrolling in VA health care, setting up appointments, connecting to pregnancy loss support and more.