Remember – mental health conditions are treatable and people do get better. In the meantime, it’s important to take care of yourself while you support your loved one.
Mental health conditions such as depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and anxiety are both common and treatable, but when your loved one is living with a mental health condition, it can take a toll on the entire family. You may wonder how to best support your loved one while still managing your own responsibilities. You may begin to worry that your own health is suffering. Although all of this is normal, there are steps you can take to ensure you take care of yourself while supporting your loved one.
Learn more about the steps you can take and the resources ready to support you as you learn to cope with your Service member’s mental health condition.
Facing Unique Challenges
When your loved one has a mental health condition, you may face new and different challenges. Mental health conditions can be hard to understand or “see” from the outside. The symptoms may be upsetting or unpredictable. You may feel like you’re being pushed away or that you’re not as connected to your loved one as you once were. Your loved one may be reluctant to get treatment, making you feel helpless or isolated. You may be taking on more responsibilities as your loved one struggles, making you feel resentful or overworked.
All of these challenges may make you more likely to experience high levels of stress, fatigue, and burnout. In addition, many people caring for loved ones with a mental health condition experience their own depression or anxiety.
Remember – mental health conditions are treatable and people do get better. In the meantime, it’s important to take care of yourself while you support your loved one.
Tips for Taking Care of Yourself While Caring for Your Loved One
- Prioritize self-care.
Whether it’s exercise, downtime, or pursuing a hobby, carve out time to do what makes you feel good. By allowing yourself this time to recharge, you’ll be more prepared to handle the challenges that come your way. - Maintain healthy habits. Supporting someone with a mental health condition can be physically and emotionally exhausting, so get plenty of rest, eat nutritious meals that fuel your body, and move regularly. These habits will help you lower your stress levels, maintain your energy, and boost your mood. Military OneSource offers free health and wellness coaching if you need help creating a plan to stay healthy and reach your goals.
- Educate yourself. The more you understand about your loved one’s condition and its symptoms, the better you’ll be able to understand and empathize with what they’re going through.
- Join a support group. A support group can provide you with a safe space to express your feelings, fears, and frustrations with people who understand what you’re experiencing. Search for a local support group or find an online community. Try the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) Caregiver Support Program or check out The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Family Support Group, an online peer-led support group for family members, caregivers, and loved ones of individuals living with mental illness. These groups are free and confidential. The Elizabeth Dole Foundation offers support, including mental health, for military and Veteran caregivers to lift up the unsung heroes behind the heroes.
- Create a safety plan. Mental health conditions and their symptoms can be unpredictable and even scary. Ask yourself – do I feel safe? If necessary, have a plan in place to keep you and your family safe. Dial 988 and press 1 to get confidential crisis support 24/7.
- Give yourself a break. It can be easy to feel like you’re not doing enough when your loved one is struggling with a mental health condition. It’s also common to feel angry, sad, or resentful. Try to remember that their symptoms and behavior aren’t a reflection of you and shouldn’t be taken personally.
- Learn stress management techniques. When you feel the stress building inside you, it’s a good idea to have some techniques to help you calm down and clear your head. Consider breathing exercises, muscle relaxation, or a simple meditation to manage those difficult moments. VA’s #LiveWholeHealth site has several simple, short videos to help you get started.
- Give your loved one time. Managing a mental health condition is rarely a straightforward success. There will be progress and setbacks, ups and downs, as your loved one finds the right combination of treatment.
- Encourage your loved
one to get treatment. Mental health conditions are treatable, and symptoms do get better, but it can be challenging if your loved one doesn’t want to get help. Healthy Homefront’s Starting a Conversation About Mental Health is full of tips and resources for loved ones in this situation. If your Service member is avoiding treatment, check out Don’t Fight Alone: The Importance of Seeking Mental Health Treatment for ways to navigate the barriers many people put in place to avoid treatment. - Ask for help. You don’t have to do any of this alone, and there are a variety of ways you can get help. Ask family and friends to take on small responsibilities to help you manage the extra pressure you’re under. Consider scheduling confidential counseling for you, as a couple, or with your kids to learn strategies to ease stress, improve your communication, and build resilience. Check out the resources below for additional support.
Resources
- TRICARE covers a wide range of mental health services for conditions such as anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Learn more about what treatments your plan covers.
- Military OneSource offers several resources designed to support the mental health of Service members and their loved ones. Learn more about confidential counseling, coaching, and more.
- VA has many resources to help you learn about different kinds of mental health challenges, how they’re treated, and how you can support your loved one and keep yourself strong at the same time.
- NAMI Homefront has a free online suite of mental health resources for caregivers, family members, Service members, and Veterans. Get information about treatment options, tips for self-care, advice for managing stress, and more. The NAMI Homefront educational program is a six-session free program designed to address the unique needs of family, caregivers, and friends of those who have served or are currently serving.
- The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration recognizes the difficulty of supporting a family member with mental health or substance abuse issues. Learn more about the resources you can use to help your loved one find treatment.
- The Elizabeth Dole Foundation has been helping America’s military and Veteran caregivers since 2012 providing resources and support networks.
You’ve probably heard the expression that you have to put on your own oxygen mask first before you can help someone else. The same thinking applies here. Take care of yourself so you can best support your loved one.