Take care of yourself, reach out for support, and create new traditions that make this holiday season just as special as years past.
Holidays are often spent with family, celebrating and sharing in holiday traditions. But if your loved one is deployed, it can make the holiday season challenging. You may wonder how to celebrate without your loved one or manage the additional stress that comes with deployment.
You’re not alone. All deployments are challenging in their own ways, and it’s during the holidays that military families miss their Service members most poignantly. It’s important to acknowledge your feelings, stay connected, seek support, focus on self-care, and create new traditions.
Check out some tips for navigating the holidays, as well as what resources are available to support you through the holiday season and beyond.
Finding Joy During Holiday Deployments
- Set realistic expectations.
If you know the holidays are going to look different this year, talk about it and set expectations ahead of time. In what ways can your Service member be involved? Will you send presents? Will you have a time when you can connect with each other? Discuss all of this ahead of time so that you aren’t let down. - Be flexible. Maybe you’re used to celebrating with a house full of family members and presents stacked a mile high. Or maybe you always make the same holiday dinner and attend a religious service together. If things are different this year, try to be flexible, and remember that different doesn’t have to be bad. You can make new memories and start new traditions that can become just as special.
- Take care of yourself. The stress of the holidays can be hard to manage, even without a deployment to consider. Be sure you’re eating right, making time to move each day, and getting enough rest. These things make it easier for your mind and body to tolerate the additional stress.
- Take a deep breath. This sounds like a small thing, but taking a deep breath is an easy way to reset, clear your mind, and refocus when you start to feel overwhelmed. The #LiveWholeHealth series on VA news has a lot of short, simple breathing exercises you can do any time you feel a little stressed.
- Find a community. Wherever you are, find a community to lean on. Whether it’s your friends, another military family, a support group on your installation, a local library club, or an online group, it helps to have a community to connect with so that you don’t feel isolated when your Service member is away.
- Volunteer. Find a local charity
that needs help over the holidays and get involved. When we volunteer, it can help boost our spirits, remind us to be grateful for what we have, and make us feel connected to something bigger than ourselves. - Reach out. It might not be normal for you to reach out – maybe you’re used to “going it alone” or maybe you’re new to an area, but take that first step and reach out during this holiday season. Ask around to find out if your installation offers any activities for kids? Is there a potluck dinner your family could attend? Is your local library offering any special holiday events? Is there a breakfast with Santa you could attend?
Creating New Traditions: How to Navigate Life Changes
When a Service member is away for the holidays, it can feel very different, but holidays can still be memorable and meaningful for you and your family. Here are some ideas for creating some new traditions:
- Plan something virtual. If you’re able, set up some virtual connections over the holidays. Can you do virtual present opening? What about showing a slide show of old holiday photos? Could you put together a video of family and friends wishing your Service member well? What about reading a holiday book with your Service member and your kids?
- Celebrate a different day. You don’t have to follow the calendar when it comes to celebrating the holidays. Keep the traditions that matter most, but do them on a different day when you’re all home together instead. Stockings can be filled and presents can be opened any day of the year.
- Do something untraditional. If you’re used to a specific holiday meal, go in a different direction and save the traditional holiday meal for when you’re together again. You can do the same thing with other traditions. Watch a different movie, bake a different dessert, and make things fun and festive in different ways than you’re used to.
- Ask your kids for ideas. If you’re concerned about how your kids will handle the holidays without your Service member, get them involved. Let them pick a few things they want to do and build the excitement. Fun activities can take the focus off of what’s missing.
- Send a care package. Get your family and friends together to create a holiday care package for your Service member. Your kids could create homemade ornaments or a photo album. You could get a few gifts and some favorite goodies to send as well.
- Adopt a foreign holiday tradition. If your Service member is stationed abroad, do some research about the country’s holiday traditions and celebrations and incorporate something new into your own celebration.
Resources for Military Families During Deployment
- TRICARE encourages you to focus on your health and wellness during the holidays and throughout the year. Learn more about what’s covered in your TRICARE plan, such as mental health resources, preventive care, and more.
- The Veterans Crisis Line is available 24/7 for Service members, Veterans, their families, and friends. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Dial 988 and press 1.
- Military OneSource offers a wide range of services and valuable resources, including:
- Health and wellness coaching – Health and wellness coaching is a no-cost way to shed some of those extra holiday pounds, deal with stress, or just get healthier.
- Confidential counseling– If you’re dealing with short-term issues like adjustment, parenting struggles, or stress management, reach out for confidential support.
- Financial counseling – If you’re worried about your finances after the holiday season, financial counselors can help you get your budget back in shape.
- Military OneSource podcasts – Listen to other military families and experts share advice about parenting solo during the holidays and managing holiday stress.
Take care of yourself, reach out for support, and create new traditions that make this holiday season just as special as years past.